Back to the Rat Race

After being on Christmas break for 2 weeks today is day 2 of getting back to the grind stone of school, work, etc. Whewwww I'm so worn out after day 1 it's unreal. 

My house is a disaster, one would think whole on vacation the house would be twice as clean haha no way!  

Business is back in full swing after a non existent December which certainly killed us financially and always comes at the worst time if course during the holidays but that's just par for the course. :( 

Sooooo it's January a New Year with new goals and exciting new prospects in life. Here's to success and happiness in 2014!!! 

Not looking good....arrgggg

So I have been in the walking boot only 2 days and it is rubbing my ankle really bad :-( The area on my ankle has opened up quite a bit and it hurts really bad from being rubbed all day long. Ugg this is going to be another fun one to try and heal.

Feeling the Blues... :( Frustration

Today is the day after my cast removal and my starting to put a small amount of weight onto my leg. I am pretty discouraged at this point and really bummed as I guess maybe I did not have a real grasp on reality and what the pain would be like after fusion…. I truly just had in my head that things would be a bit sore when I could bear weight but ahhh no biggie, well that is anything but the truth. Last night I didn’t sleep hardly at all cause I would fall asleep and then wake up with my leg and ankle aching soooo badly! Right now with limited walking and very limited weight I have put on my ankle I ache all the way from my knee down to my toes… ugggg this is NOT what I expected or hoped for… I envisioned I would just walk and go for it and all would be well…. Very disappointing for me and pretty much a bubble burst for me.

SIGHHHHHH I think I shall just go lay down, but of course not I agreed to help feed someone else's horses in addition to my own, thinking oh I can do this… WRONG SO DEAD WRONG!!! Thank the Lord for my children!!

Frustrated with I am tired of taking pain meds and honestly thought I was done with that, and HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!! I am fighting back the tears due to pain and frustration and just be negative in general cause I can NOT see the light at the end of the tunnel at this point… I know I know it will get better (at least we all hope so) but still THIS SUCKS!!! The pain makes me crazy and shezz you would think after 2 years and 2 months of pain this would be just old hat, wellllll unfortunately this is a whole new pain that is in different areas and different feelings that I have not learn yet to deal with yet… It feels like there is a knife stabbing me in the bottom of my foot, it is not pain in my ankle this time though.

I wanted soooo bad to get off these crutches they are killing my wrists as I already had tendonitis from many years of working at a computer and not to mention the fact that I have gained 60 lbs in the past 2 years since all of this started and I am limited on the mobility and exercise so the extra weight does not help my wrists or my good leg.

To high of expectations I guess is what sums it all up. 

The BIG DAY!!

So today was the day I officially got my cast off and they put me in the walking boot. That "wet" spot ummmm not so pretty it is extra wet and gooie but even with the knowledge of my past history with Staph the Dr. was not concerned at all he feels it is just the skin is wet and will dry out and all will be well.

Incision on the bottom of my foot

Full Leg View

Xrays

It was the Street Signs Fault.... really it was!

So today I was talking with someone who had asked me what happened to my ankle as they saw my cast. I gave the quick explanation of I was in a car accident and shattered my Talus and just recently underwent another surgery to correct the damage....and all the normal questions and answer which is no biggie I am totally used to that situation, so we got to talking a bit more and she told me that her aunt was in a car accident several years ago as well. So of course I asked what happened cause I like everyone one who asks me about what happen am just a curious about the details :)

I find out her Aunt was driving drunk, talking on her cell phone, and speeding in excess of 100 MPH and ended up rolling her car over. The aunt lived but has many injuries that she will was healing from for quite sometime along with some permanent damage as well.... But the part that KILLED me was the shear denial this woman said to me it has nothing to do with the alcohol or the speeding or talking on her cell phone it was because she swerved a bit off the end of the road and hit a road sign which caused the car to flip over, so essentially long story short her explanation was "it was the road signs fault" that the accident happen ...... REALLY this is how you rationalize it?? Me personally and I am sure I speak for many of us,  I am glad the road sign was there cause you know what your aunt injured HERSELF and HERSELF ONLY, she did not kill, maim, or injure some innocent driver and his/her passengers cause your aunt thought it would be cool to drink and drive 100+ MPH..... I guess maybe I am a bit overly sensitive about this but nothing pisses me off more then those who drink or do drugs and drive.... you are killing and injuring innocent people out there!!! Now, In my case the Angels were certainly there with us as my children were not seriously injured and I am still alive and not paralysed but him (the man who hit us) not so lucky as we all know what his fate of that night was for him.... I always wish there was some type of closure to the story and the open ends of it all just mess with me still to this day!! Caulk that one up to the OCD as I like and prefer everything to be wrapped up perfectly with all ends tied and ready to put away.... more things in life left for us to question......Was I his suicide mission? Was he wacked out on drugs or alcohol ? Was he talking or texting on his cell phone? Did he drop something and try to pick it up??? What happened ? WHY???

I have NO clue how to get thru to these people that are out on the roads everyday doing these things, they take not only their own life into their own hands but everyone else as well.... very sad and frustrating!!

OK jumping off my soap box now... just need a little vent there

Got my Walking Boot

Today was my appointment to have my "fitting" for my walking boot. Can someone explain to me WHY I go for a "fitting" when there is NO fitting it is about what size shoe do you wear and they tried that on and it was too tight around my leg so they go oh well we will just go to the next size up who cares if the foot it about 4" longer then my foot and way to huge for me but hey it fits my leg better so DONE thats what I walk out with. I asked well cant we use the leg from one and the foot from the other, and NOPE they can not do that... of course not of course you can't make it fit correctly.. can you tell I am a bit angry....

Anyway here is the beauty...

Got my Toes Cozy

Today I found a new use for those huge and fuzzy AYSO Soccer socks that your kids have and you just don't know what to do with them as they sit around in the drawer.... Welllllll they are HUGE enough to fit over a cast and they do a GREAT JOB at keeping my toes warm on these 35 degree mornings that I have to go out!