Today is the day after my cast removal and my starting to put a small amount of weight onto my leg. I am pretty discouraged at this point and really bummed as I guess maybe I did not have a real grasp on reality and what the pain would be like after fusion…. I truly just had in my head that things would be a bit sore when I could bear weight but ahhh no biggie, well that is anything but the truth. Last night I didn’t sleep hardly at all cause I would fall asleep and then wake up with my leg and ankle aching soooo badly! Right now with limited walking and very limited weight I have put on my ankle I ache all the way from my knee down to my toes… ugggg this is NOT what I expected or hoped for… I envisioned I would just walk and go for it and all would be well…. Very disappointing for me and pretty much a bubble burst for me.
SIGHHHHHH I think I shall just go lay down, but of course not I agreed to help feed someone else's horses in addition to my own, thinking oh I can do this… WRONG SO DEAD WRONG!!! Thank the Lord for my children!!
Frustrated with I am tired of taking pain meds and honestly thought I was done with that, and HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!! I am fighting back the tears due to pain and frustration and just be negative in general cause I can NOT see the light at the end of the tunnel at this point… I know I know it will get better (at least we all hope so) but still THIS SUCKS!!! The pain makes me crazy and shezz you would think after 2 years and 2 months of pain this would be just old hat, wellllll unfortunately this is a whole new pain that is in different areas and different feelings that I have not learn yet to deal with yet… It feels like there is a knife stabbing me in the bottom of my foot, it is not pain in my ankle this time though.
I wanted soooo bad to get off these crutches they are killing my wrists as I already had tendonitis from many years of working at a computer and not to mention the fact that I have gained 60 lbs in the past 2 years since all of this started and I am limited on the mobility and exercise so the extra weight does not help my wrists or my good leg.
To high of expectations I guess is what sums it all up.
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