My Ah Ha Moment of the Day...

So today has been a whole ball of frustrations. My day starts with phone calls to Doctors, Pharmacy, and Visiting Nurse. As I am on the phone getting more and more frustrated because I am being told that I don't have any more approved visits from my insurance for the Home Nurse. What???? I am mid stream here and this Wound VAC (my electronic leech) MUST be changed every 3 days and ummmm they were here Friday so today is day 3 and no one is coming and I just find this out NOW???? My insurance only approved 3 times a week for 2 weeks. Did they REALLLY think that HUGE gaping hole was gonna be healed in 2 weeks? Come on now.....So now I have to sit here wondering what is going on with my ankle and if we are going to be heading backwards with my recovery cause some sorry sap cant do their job and be sure everything is in order so that i get the care I need, WHEN I NEED IT!!


So, as I am making myself lunch today and being frustrated at being stuck in the wheelchair and it takes twice as long to do anything. Then the frustrations of dealing with my insurance company who faithfully withdrawls their hefty sum of money from my checking account each month without fail who now is creating issues with me getting my medical care when needed. Thru my frustration though I had a HUGE epiphiny that OMG THIS is what those with life long disabilities go thru EVERYDAY for the REST of their lives. They live with the constant battle of how is this medical bill going to be paid, will my insurance approve this procedure, will I be able to get the care needed when I need it? Wait and wait and wait for people to return your phone calls and they NEVER do.... So is this a lesson in helping me to understand what these people go thru? Is this my lesson to walk in THEIR shoes for a few months and to understand the issues and problems of being disabled? I don't know but it sure did hit me hard while sitting there being frustrated!!! I felt this is part of the life lesson in proceeding forward with the BIGGER plan of Therapeutic Riding and funny part is in the end I sure could use it myself. I am here thinking what I would do to be able to go out and ride a horse right now. That sure would do my state of mind a whole lotta good right now! I imagine being one of my therapy students sitting at home waiting for the day of the week that I got to go and ride a horse. Wooow, what a highlight that would be to get out of the house and go do something of that magnitude. I sit here in their shoes thinking what joy and excitement of looking forward to riding horse must do for their whole inside. I own horses but even now if someone said next week you will be able to ride a horse, I would be counting the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until that time. I get it now, the freedom of being out of the wheelchair, the freedom of moving without crutches, and joy of movement without the use of a walker... ahhhhhhh the wind in my hair, the movement of the horse under me.....the fresh air, the sweet smell of horses, the feeling of gliding along the arena rail without a care in the world... I feel like I am on top of the world...ahhhhhhhh my heart sings and brings a smile to my face.....

Can you see it?? Do you picture it??? Can you feel it?? Ohhhhhhh I always have but NEVER had I been able to see it from THEIR prospective and THEIR point of view until now. Me having to completely rely on a wheelchair to get me from place to place has allowed me to have this perspective.... and there IS a purpose in that!!!

Thank you Lord for this humbling experience to allow me to see and feel what my students see and feel.

I TRULY GET "IT" NOW!!! ITS GONNA BE AMAZING!!!!

The best part is over this last weekend at our Disney Day I met a really great contact who I feel is going to help fill our book with students who are in need of therapeutic riding! I see the dream coming true now...slowly but I see it WILL happen and it's going to be AMAZING!!!

Doctor Visit and Healing Progress at 20 Days

Even more progress on the healing. Pics are the smaller wound inside of my ankle and the larger wound that is on the outside of my ankle. Progressing well! The yellow "stuff' inside the wound the doctor says is just fatty tissue... weird to me buuuuut as long as it is not infection that is my biggest concern!!! But with the PICC line and IV antibiotics 3 times a day who could get an infection.

Amazing Healing Process 18 Days Later

The healing on my wound is amazing how much has filled in only 18 days. Not the greatest of pics though sorry but you can get a pretty good idea at the difference.

RESULTS are in and PICC Line is now installed

They have the results are in and the infection is officially been determined to be Staph. Uggg, that is not good news but the bright side is that it is not MRSA the resistant strain of Staph.

Pics of the PICC Line in my arm and my meds.

Wound VACC has been attached.

So with the huge holes that I have in my ankle there was talk of doing skin grafts and all that but the wound specialist came in and has decided to use a wound vacc on my ankle. The idea and purpose is they pack the wound with a sponge and then put a plastic material over the entire area to create a vacuum lock and create suction on the wound which will pull all fluids away from the wound and also give the stimulation to the wound to help encourage growth of the skin to fill in the holes. Similar to what they use leeches for from time to time in medical procedures.

Holy Smokes Batman...This one is GRAPHIC!!

I had my second surgery yesterday which was an I.N.D. to remove the infection from my ankle. Let me tell you I DID NOT expect what I saw today and the amount they had to remove. They have gone all the way down to the bone in fact when the nurse was in to re pack the wound she was poking around in there and said "Ohhhh I see bone right there... and I can see the head of one of the screws they used to put together the bone.... Awwwwwwww I was ok until she said that.... I don't know why that part freaked me out and made my skin crawl more then seeing the wound itself. Pictures for you below......

Here are some pics for you of the outside of my ankle is above (biggest hole) and the inside of my ankle (smaller wound) is below.

They also removed the rod out of my heel during this surgery soooo the good thing is that saves me from another surgery which would have been in a couple of weeks. Check out the hole in the bottom of my heel ewwwwwwww.....

I have an Infectiion and Re-Admitted to Hospital

So I have not been feeling well and there is a new and different pain in my ankle and I called the doctors office and told them I need to come in and have them take the cast off to look at my ankle, things just don't seem right and their little window system is not working we can not get thru all the cotton and wraps to see what things look like, however when opening the windows today there was a foul smell. So off to the Ortho Clinic we went. I told the doctor how I felt and what I was feeling and he kinda looked at me as if I was crazy but after insisting they take the cast off he finally agreed, and the reaction of the casting person was ohhhhhhh no.... reaction of doctor was UH OH!!!  I was immediately started on being admitted back to the hospital for an infection of both incision sites on my ankle. It is pretty nasty one too. They have taken cultures to find what type of infection this is but in the meantime tomorrow I will have to have surgery to remove the infection. Uggggg our concerns have come to reality!!

You can see the infection here in this pic.