Not looking good....arrgggg

So I have been in the walking boot only 2 days and it is rubbing my ankle really bad :-( The area on my ankle has opened up quite a bit and it hurts really bad from being rubbed all day long. Ugg this is going to be another fun one to try and heal.

Feeling the Blues... :( Frustration

Today is the day after my cast removal and my starting to put a small amount of weight onto my leg. I am pretty discouraged at this point and really bummed as I guess maybe I did not have a real grasp on reality and what the pain would be like after fusion…. I truly just had in my head that things would be a bit sore when I could bear weight but ahhh no biggie, well that is anything but the truth. Last night I didn’t sleep hardly at all cause I would fall asleep and then wake up with my leg and ankle aching soooo badly! Right now with limited walking and very limited weight I have put on my ankle I ache all the way from my knee down to my toes… ugggg this is NOT what I expected or hoped for… I envisioned I would just walk and go for it and all would be well…. Very disappointing for me and pretty much a bubble burst for me.

SIGHHHHHH I think I shall just go lay down, but of course not I agreed to help feed someone else's horses in addition to my own, thinking oh I can do this… WRONG SO DEAD WRONG!!! Thank the Lord for my children!!

Frustrated with I am tired of taking pain meds and honestly thought I was done with that, and HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!! I am fighting back the tears due to pain and frustration and just be negative in general cause I can NOT see the light at the end of the tunnel at this point… I know I know it will get better (at least we all hope so) but still THIS SUCKS!!! The pain makes me crazy and shezz you would think after 2 years and 2 months of pain this would be just old hat, wellllll unfortunately this is a whole new pain that is in different areas and different feelings that I have not learn yet to deal with yet… It feels like there is a knife stabbing me in the bottom of my foot, it is not pain in my ankle this time though.

I wanted soooo bad to get off these crutches they are killing my wrists as I already had tendonitis from many years of working at a computer and not to mention the fact that I have gained 60 lbs in the past 2 years since all of this started and I am limited on the mobility and exercise so the extra weight does not help my wrists or my good leg.

To high of expectations I guess is what sums it all up. 

The BIG DAY!!

So today was the day I officially got my cast off and they put me in the walking boot. That "wet" spot ummmm not so pretty it is extra wet and gooie but even with the knowledge of my past history with Staph the Dr. was not concerned at all he feels it is just the skin is wet and will dry out and all will be well.

Incision on the bottom of my foot

Full Leg View

Xrays

It was the Street Signs Fault.... really it was!

So today I was talking with someone who had asked me what happened to my ankle as they saw my cast. I gave the quick explanation of I was in a car accident and shattered my Talus and just recently underwent another surgery to correct the damage....and all the normal questions and answer which is no biggie I am totally used to that situation, so we got to talking a bit more and she told me that her aunt was in a car accident several years ago as well. So of course I asked what happened cause I like everyone one who asks me about what happen am just a curious about the details :)

I find out her Aunt was driving drunk, talking on her cell phone, and speeding in excess of 100 MPH and ended up rolling her car over. The aunt lived but has many injuries that she will was healing from for quite sometime along with some permanent damage as well.... But the part that KILLED me was the shear denial this woman said to me it has nothing to do with the alcohol or the speeding or talking on her cell phone it was because she swerved a bit off the end of the road and hit a road sign which caused the car to flip over, so essentially long story short her explanation was "it was the road signs fault" that the accident happen ...... REALLY this is how you rationalize it?? Me personally and I am sure I speak for many of us,  I am glad the road sign was there cause you know what your aunt injured HERSELF and HERSELF ONLY, she did not kill, maim, or injure some innocent driver and his/her passengers cause your aunt thought it would be cool to drink and drive 100+ MPH..... I guess maybe I am a bit overly sensitive about this but nothing pisses me off more then those who drink or do drugs and drive.... you are killing and injuring innocent people out there!!! Now, In my case the Angels were certainly there with us as my children were not seriously injured and I am still alive and not paralysed but him (the man who hit us) not so lucky as we all know what his fate of that night was for him.... I always wish there was some type of closure to the story and the open ends of it all just mess with me still to this day!! Caulk that one up to the OCD as I like and prefer everything to be wrapped up perfectly with all ends tied and ready to put away.... more things in life left for us to question......Was I his suicide mission? Was he wacked out on drugs or alcohol ? Was he talking or texting on his cell phone? Did he drop something and try to pick it up??? What happened ? WHY???

I have NO clue how to get thru to these people that are out on the roads everyday doing these things, they take not only their own life into their own hands but everyone else as well.... very sad and frustrating!!

OK jumping off my soap box now... just need a little vent there

Got my Walking Boot

Today was my appointment to have my "fitting" for my walking boot. Can someone explain to me WHY I go for a "fitting" when there is NO fitting it is about what size shoe do you wear and they tried that on and it was too tight around my leg so they go oh well we will just go to the next size up who cares if the foot it about 4" longer then my foot and way to huge for me but hey it fits my leg better so DONE thats what I walk out with. I asked well cant we use the leg from one and the foot from the other, and NOPE they can not do that... of course not of course you can't make it fit correctly.. can you tell I am a bit angry....

Anyway here is the beauty...

Got my Toes Cozy

Today I found a new use for those huge and fuzzy AYSO Soccer socks that your kids have and you just don't know what to do with them as they sit around in the drawer.... Welllllll they are HUGE enough to fit over a cast and they do a GREAT JOB at keeping my toes warm on these 35 degree mornings that I have to go out!

Back to the Dr. for check up

Soo after all the bloopers last night I called the Ortho's office first thing this morning and of course they said come in and lets check things out. So I headed back to their office and had to explain the whole thing of I fell down AND got my cast wet.... OMG what a idiot I look like now... Oh well...

So x-rays all look great I did not damage anything and I have a new and not wet cast put on. It wet for Blue this time around, thought I would change things up a bit.

I also got a few good shots of my wound as well, all is looking well except for one little spot that I worry about but the doctor looked at it and assures me that is normal and everything is A OK... sooooo we pray no infection start brewing in the "wet" spot that is between the 3rd and 4th steri strip from the right.

The Night of Bloopers

So tonight I am not sure what was the deal but it was just the worst day ever.... if anything could go wrong it DID!!!!

So I barely make it thru my day on one leg feeding horses, making dinner, doing laundry, etc and I walk (hop really) into the bathroom to get some laundry sorted and I got that all taken care of and upon my departure there must have been a wet spot on the linoleum and swwwooooopppp my crutch slides across the floor just as I put my weight on it to move forward and boom down I went... I put full weight on my cast and my bad ankle then fell forward as I heard a pop and flat on my face.... ugggg

So i try to get up and my knee on the "good" leg is sending shooting pains thru my knee and down my leg... oh NOOOO!!! I can not get up... So what does a girl do? Lay there and cry while trying to figure out how I am gonna get myself off the bathroom floor... Then after my little pitty party of " I have fallen and I can't get up!" I rolled over on my rear end and scooted my way over into the bedroom and next to the bed. There I was able to use my arms by leaning on the bed and the knee that was killing me to push myself up. I rolled myself into the bed and layed down for quite sometime. 

After laying down for a bit, I am realizing that EVERYTHING is hurting I am sore.. So my next most brilliant idea is to get in my big huge cozy bath tub and soak for awhile and just relax.. its been a long day I need to relax, I deserve it right?! So I run the water all cozy and warm, get my leg all wrapped up in the plastic bag and tied off so I keep it dry,  and get myself in the bath and I am chillin and enjoying the bubbles and what not, then it comes time I need to wash my hair... and WHAT!?!?!? my shampoo and conditioner is GONE... my daughter must have used it in the shower earlier and did not put it back.... arrgggg so freezing cold I get out of the bath now scared to death cause I am dripping wet and don't want to slip again and trying to get to the shampoo and conditioner... so I get that and all is well back to the tub to get warm and wash my hair. All done get out of the bath and mind you 99% of the time my leg is not down in the water it is propped up on the edge of the tub, and uh oh the bag over my cast has a good amount of water in it and I touch the heel of my cast and it is sticky and wet!! The entire back of my leg, my heel and bottom of foot are wet. If feels a bit wet inside of the cast under my foot as well. UGGG!!!

So per the nurses instruction when I got the cast you are suppose to use a hair dryer on a cool setting and dry it until the next morning when you can call the ortho office..... soooo in the theme of the night what happens??? The cool setting on my hair dryer is NOT working it will only blow HOT air..... ARGGGGG what else could go wrong...  :(  I used the regular hot setting to dry the cast but could not dry inside under my foot soooo a call to the doctor is in order either way but even more so now.

After I dried the cast and got rid of all the stickiness I decided that I just needed to GO TO BED!! So taking some pain meds and off to dreamland I go!

Praying for a better day tomorrow!

Got my Newest Cast

So today they pulled off the splints and I got some good pics of my incision sites along with a shiny new cast... and YES I picked purple AGAIN, hoping this one will bring a bit better luck!! Still not allow to do any weight bearing on it but it was nice to see the wounds are all looking good, dry, and no sign of infection.. WOO HOOO that is ALWAYS good news!!

 Cool hole in bottom of my foot, pulling stitches out of that area on your foot though HURTS!! Love the dotted line they drew too from bottom of my foot up towards the other incision.I believe this was cut in order to put the rod in that runs up my leg.

The picture below is the back of my ankle and the incision they made there in order to put the rod that runs parallel to my foot.

My ankle from far away and my pretty purple cast :)

Can't wait to see the x-rays and all the hardware they have installed in my leg and ankle.... will be interesting to see... gotta wait 4 weeks for that one though....

Got NEW Duds on my Leg

So, it was starting to feel inside my splint a bit like last time, feels like blisters are being rubbed inside. So I called the surgeons office and told them of my concern and my previous history of Staph infection so they said come on down this afternoon and we will check it all out. So thankfully they pulled off the splint and all is well everything seems to be healing well and no infection brewing at all. So they wrapped it up in a new splint and off I went back home. I will be back next week for my official 2 week Post Op appointment and hope that all still is going well, I think they will x-ray at that time and hope to see that all is healing and in position and doing what they want it to do! :)

Surgery Day

Surgery is done, and back home now.... I have a nerve block now so not much pain really,  but a bit worried whats gonna happen as it wears off..... Time will tell :)

Surgery AGAIN! Fusing my Ankle

So really I should feel blessed first off that I even have the ability to have ANOTHER surgery, second that this is actually only my 3rd one cause I have heard many people who are having 5, 15, even 20 surgeries later and still expecting more.


But, tomorrow is the BIG day for me, they will be fusing the upper and lower joints of my ankle so I will no longer have any side to side or up and down motion in my ankle. There will be rod up my leg and thru my foot essentially that form a 90 degree angle and will be locked into each other which will hold my leg in the position while the bones all grow together. They also will have to remove about a 3" section of my fibula which can also be used for grafting as needed. Oh and the screws and all the hardware that was previously put into my ankle will now be removed. I will keep the rods in my leg forever they do not go back and take those out, cool so like I will officially have a metal rod from mid leg all the way down... I am hoping to get pics of my xrays down the road to show all the details...

So Please Say your Prayers for me tomorrow!!